How to Talk About It

“The hardest part is starting. But the right words can open the door to healing.”

When someone you care about is struggling with addiction, mental health, or trauma, starting the conversation can feel overwhelming. What if you say the wrong thing? What if they shut down—or get angry? What if you make it worse?

At TruPaths, we understand that the fear of speaking up can keep families stuck in silence. That’s why we’re here to help you find gentle, loving, and clear ways to talk about what matters most—because silence keeps us sick, and connection is what heals.

Why These Conversations Are So Hard

Codependency happens when your identity, needs, or emotions become enmeshed with someone else’s. It’s more than just “caring too much” it’s about feeling like:

Fear of rejection or conflict

Not wanting to hurt or push someone away

Guilt or confusion about your role

Unsure how to name what’s happening

Worried they’re not ready to hear it

Trying to “keep the peace” instead of creating real peace

“I didn’t know what to say, so I said what was true: ‘I love you. I’m scared. And I want to help.”

— TruPaths Family Member

How to Start the Conversation

The goal isn’t to force a breakthrough—it’s to open the door. Start with:

Lead with Love

Instead of jumping to “you need help,” start with connection:

I care about you.
I’ve noticed some changes, and I’m concerned.
I miss you. I want us to be okay.

Stick to What You’ve Seen

Share behaviors without shame or diagnosis:

You haven’t seemed like yourself lately.
I’ve noticed you’ve been drinking more lately.
You don’t have to go through this alone.

Offer Support, Not Ultimatums

Avoid threats. Offer choices and compassion:

Want to talk to someone together?
There’s help for this—want to look together?
You don’t have to fix it all—just one step.

What to Avoid (And What to Say Instead)

Instead of this:

“You’re ruining everything.”
“You need to get your act together.”
“Why can’t you just stop?”
“If you loved me, you’d change.”

Try saying this:

“I’m scared because I care about you.”
“I think you’re hurting—and I want to help.”
I know it’s not easy—I’m here for the hard parts.
“I love you. And I’m here when you’re ready to talk.”

It’s Okay If It Doesn’t Go Perfectly

There’s no shame in codependent patterns. They are often learned in childhood to survive emotionally unsafe environments. But healing is possiSometimes they’ll listen. Sometimes they’ll get defensive. That’s okay. The point isn’t to get it all right it’s to show up with care and consistency. You might need to say it more than once, in more than one way. That’s not failure that’s persistence rooted in love.

What You Can Offer (Without Doing It All Alone)

you don’t have to become the therapist, fixer, or savior. You can offer:

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$7,387-12,089

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Santa Monica, California

Solace Sober Living

(1.5k)

Burnout Recovery
Mindfulness

Insurance Accepted
National Alliance for Recovery Residences

$7,387-12,089

View Center

Santa Monica, California

Solace Sober Living

(1.5k)

Burnout Recovery
Mindfulness

Insurance Accepted
National Alliance for Recovery Residences

$7,387-12,089

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From the TruPaths Community

Danielle K., 34

“I was terrified to start Recovery Program, but the team made me feel safe every step of the way. They didn’t just treat the symptoms — they treated me like a human.”

Danielle K., 34

“I was terrified to start Recovery Program, but the team made me feel safe every step of the way. They didn’t just treat the symptoms — they treated me like a human.”

You Can Speak with Compassion and Courage

At TruPaths, we believe:

You are not alone in these conversations
You don’t need perfect words to start helping
Honest, loving dialogue saves lives—and relationships

“You don’t have to talk them into recovery. You just have to remind them they’re not alone in the dark.”

Ready to Talk—and Be Heard?

We’re here to help guide your family through these difficult conversations with kindness and clarity.

Find Family Recovery Programs

About TruPath's Recommendations

Recommendations are based on your location and recovery needs, including the programs you've explored, the services you've saved, and the filters you've used. We use this information to highlight similar treatment options so you never miss a trusted path forward.

How to Talk About It

Why These Conversations Are So Hard

“I didn’t know what to say, so I said what was true: ‘I love you. I’m scared. And I want to help.”